Dear Campus Advisor:

I'm a 20-year-old Florida native who just received her real estate certification. However, I also just received news that I am expecting a baby in April. I am currently in college and don't plan to stop because of my current situation. I plan to work twice as hard for myself, my baby, and those in my family who have worked very hard to bring me this far and who let me know that all my goals were attainable and still are. I was just interested in your advice and wanted to contact you. Hopefully, you will be able to help me put my life back in order

Thank you
Sheva

Hello Sheva:

Thank you for writing. I applaud your recent real-estate certification, your determination to deal with your current challenges and to stay in college. I want to encourage you to stay on track as you prepare for motherhood, even though I must tell you that it won’t be easy.

Here are some important things to consider and some suggestions that may be of help to you:

1. Begin every day with a pregnant mother's prayer asking God to help you have a peaceful pregnancy for the healthy delivery of one of his angels. Pray out loud, so your baby will be accustomed to hearing and being with you in prayer. This is so important in directing your life and that of your baby, even before this precious bundle arrives.
2. Make sure you investigate every resource, on and off campus, available for pregnant Mothers and use as many of these services as you can, to be sure you have additional information and help with your pregnancy.
3. Make sure you get immediate and continuous pre-natal care. Be faithful in this. There is so much you will need to learn to nurture and protect your precious cargo. You do not want to be uninformed or run the risk of doing anything that might cause injury to your unborn child.
4. Develop a realistic academic/career plan and time line that takes into consideration the changing circumstances in your life. You need to develop a pre-natal game plan and a baby’s first year game plan plus one for staying in college, since that is your expressed desire, while raising your child. It won't be easy, but many have done it. So can you.
5. Start saving for childcare expenses now. Also start researching day care services on or near your campus. Many times there are long waiting lists for such day care, especially those facilities that have discounted rates for students.
6. Investigate young mom’s support groups on campus or in the community and join one or maybe create one, if none exists. It's amazing how much you can accomplish by being part of a support group where you can share experiences, information and resources. These groups can also sometimes provide baby-sitting assistance to each other, which can be invaluable when you are trying to stay in school.
7. Stay connected with family, friends, college faculty and/or staff who love, care for or believe in you. You will need them and you don't want to be thought of as someone who only seeks them out when you run into difficulty.
8. In the final analysis, please re-examine the choices you have made that have brought you to this point in your life. Evaluate whether these were good or bad decisions and resolve to make future choices that will be in the best interest of you and your baby.

Remember, no one can hold you back if you keep God in your life, your head up high, stay focused on your goals and seek resources that will support and encourage you.

God bless and keep you.

Dear Campus Advisor:

Ever since I can remember, I’ve been a star athlete. In middle school, I played baseball, football and basketball. In junior high, I was team captain in football and all city in basketball. By the time I got to high school, I achieved all state in football and an all American in basketball. I was awarded a basketball scholarship to college. In college, I have helped our program to reach regional finals and the NCAA sweet sixteen. I’ve always been described as a hard worker and a selfless player. I have been the spiritual and emotional leader of the team. My greatest accomplishment thus far has been the night I put down thirty-three points, eight rebounds and three assists to help guide us to our third conference championship. That night I was on fire. After receiving so much attention based on that game, I was sure the NBA scouts would be taking a look at me. Much to my surprise I never received a phone call. This year is my senior year. I’ll be graduating with a degree in communications. Most of the guys that were on our championship team have moved on already. This year we are not as deep as we have been in the past; we aren’t even expected to make it to national tournament. I tell myself and my teammates that this means nothing, just play hard and believe in yourself and it will come. But I can’t keep kidding myself; we aren’t even ranked this year. I haven’t received a singe contact from a scout. I’m starting to realize that my time in sports has come and gone. Local reporters ask me questions like, “So what do you plan on doing when you move on?” and, “Closing out your senior year, what legacy would you like to leave behind?” Judging from the press, I’m already retired. I always expected that I would make it. I’m good enough; I work hard enough and my passion for the sport is immeasurable, but now it’s looking like I’m going to be just a regular person. No NBA contracts, TV commercials or sneaker endorsements. I’m having a hard time adjusting to the reality of this situation. Please help me at least bow out and still feel good about myself.

Signed,
Mr. Basketball

Dear Mr. Basketball:

What do you mean, help you feel good about yourself? You should be doing that already. You have enjoyed a life of winning and overcoming obstacles. You have a good work ethic and have demonstrated outstanding team leadership and sportsmanship. You have gone farther and done more than many college athletes. You have the respect of your peers and the gratitude of your college. The things you have accomplished can never be taken from you and you should always remember that.

Since winners rarely quit, I am certain that the best of your achievements are not yet realized. First of all, finish your college education. Do not be indifferent to its value and the doors it will open for you. Many star athletes fail to understand that a college degree helps you to be a star off the court, maybe even in more meaningful ways than your success on the court.

But don’t give up so easy on a potential athletic career. If basketball is your passion, stay with it. Remember there are international teams that are very anxious to recruit U.S. players. Be sure to keep your eyes open for these possibilities. If you find that there are no opportunities for you in the international leagues, take a broader look at the other careers available in sports. Although you might not be able to play basketball, other sports-related services need your motivation and passion. You could try to be an assistant coach at the high school or college level. If that does not interest you, perhaps you could go into sports broadcasting or you could try to open a community league for youth or summer basketball camp.

There are so many possibilities. You simply have to identify the ones that would be best for you. Stay visible, stay passionate, be a motivator, be a hero, above all, be a champion. There are far greater causes to rally behind in our world today. You can help to be the spirit that shifts the tide for some young man in the future going through similar circumstances with dreams such as yours. Get excited about graduating and using your education to make a difference in the athletic field. Be a star in your chosen field, off the court. Make a difference; force people not to forget you; don’t simply vanish into obscurity. Use your other God-given talents and allow them to flourish. Let people know you’re a winner, not just on the court, but as a person period.

Linda Bates Parker is the director of the Career Development Center at the University of Cincinnati.