Dear Invisible,

Your reference to a book by a Black author (Ralph Ellison) in closing your letter gives me hope for changing your dilemma. Although I have already answered your letter and mailed it to you directly, I wanted to include it in my column so that other students who are facing similar challenges will not feel alone and might be able to benefit from my advice to you.

You are not alone. Many of today's Black college students are arriving on our campus with very little knowledge or appreciation of Black life and culture. Like you, they have been isolated from their culture by family who escaped to predominantly White schools and neighborhoods, not only in search of a better life, but also - in some cases - to escape what they consider to be the stigma of being Black in America. They have lived in environments where they have been encouraged to assimilate and "fit in" with the majority. They have learned quite well how to mimic White behavior. They have assumed White culture and values and in many cases have abandoned their own. They are - as you vividly described yourself - cultural zombies. The walking dead. In their effort to fit in, they have stripped themselves of their core identity.

For some, this poses no problem. They like being colorblind and wish others would be like them. These people are cultural aliens who care nothing about and contribute nothing to the advancement of Black people.

And then there are others, like you, who have a profound awakening to the value of discovering and functioning within a real, rather than a feigned or fictitious cultural context. They realize that a person without an appreciation of himself functions with a self-hate that is terrible. You should not feel out of place in the very place where you most belong. You simply need to find your way home, like Alex Haley.

What you need to do is to undertake a self-education process that will allow you to reclaim that which is your birthright, your cultural heritage. You might want to do this before you join any organization, where you might be challenged to accelerate your learning!

First and foremost, read, read, read. Read books, magazines, articles, poetry, song lyrics by Black authors that will introduce you to the complexity of Black life in America and the beautiful lyrical quality, passion, and artistry of Black language.

Second, develop an Afrocentric frame of reference. In other words, include in your reflections, in your discussions, in your thinking, quotes, phrases, and brilliant insights from great Black thinkers.

Third, accept that the journey toward personal acceptance and self- affirmation is a lifelong process. Even though you feel intimidated in this Black environment, you cannot change yourself overnight. Do not fast-forward from one pretense to another. While you may feel ashamed of what you have been deprived of, never be ashamed of yourself.

Fourth, volunteer to do community service as often as you can with an agency or church in the poorest Black community in your area. Seek to understand the difficult conditions that Black people endure who have less fortunate lives than the one you have enjoyed. Identify solutions that do not blame or humiliate the victims. Broaden your education in this way. Write class papers on your findings and experiences.

Fifth, emerge yourself in the Black arts. Go to Black theater, to movies in Black neighborhoods (this is a very different experience!), to concerts. Listen to jazz, gospel music, blues, and reggae until you can distinguish various artists and until you can appreciate these classical expressions of Black life. Buy Black art and artifacts, created by Black artists (there is a difference). Share these experiences with a Black woman!

Finally, take courses that will further ground you in Black history and culture. Participate in class discussions. Do constant self-checks, as you have already begun to do. To try to see what has shaped your perspective, how it compares to those of your peers and professors, and what is missing. Do more reading. Experience more. Talk to your professors. Go to campus lecture series that bring in Black scholars. I could go on and on, but enough said.

I have devoted my entire column to your concern because I have met students like you both on my campus and elsewhere. They are painfully ignorant of who they are and have been told that race and culture are insignificant. Yet they have found that this kind of thinking does not match their experiences and feel frightened that their ignorance will be exposed and that they will be rejected by their own people. They have found trying to be White a totally unacceptable alternative to being themselves, but they do not know where to begin.

If you follow my advice (and I certainly encourage you to seek out a Black counselor on your campus to further assist you), I am certain you will feel considerably better about yourself. In the end, you will be proud of your race and culture, accepting of others, and a better educated person - capable of not only making a contribution to society as a whole, but significantly improving the life of Black people in this country and around the world.

Note from the Campus Advisor:
If you are a student reading this column who can relate to this issue, please write to me and let me know if this advice is helpful to you. I'd love to hear from you.

Linda Bates Parker is your Online Campus Advisor. She has authored the Campus Advisor column for THE BLACK COLLEGIAN Magazine for over 13 years. Parker is the director of the Career Development Center at the University of Cincinnati and president of Black Career Women a national organization.

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