For Some, College Away Provides Opportunities For Personal Growth
Student Correspondence - Hampton University
by
Dimika Cavalier
A
recent conversation that I had with a prospective college student and
her parents regarding whether she should attend college away from home,
mustered some strong feelings that I have on the issue.
Her parents argued that she wasn’t ready for such a
responsibility and she contended otherwise.
When asked my opinion, I enthusiastically said, “let her go
because she will learn responsibility in time.”
If her experience is anything like mine, it’ll be one that she
shouldn’t pass up. In my case, going away to college helped me to gain
a strong sense of responsibility - and a lot more.
When
trying to decide whether or not to attend college out of state, the word
responsibility never came entered my mind.
I just imagined being out of my parent’s home and having the
freedom to make my own decisions. Of
course, I knew that I would have to study hard and take on other
responsibilities that I hadn’t in the past, but the thrill of
independence outweighed those concerns.
During
the entire twenty-hour drive from New Orleans to Hampton, my parents
preached to me about various things.
At the time, the lessons didn’t hit home, but they soon did.
When my parents dropped me off at my new “Home by the Sea,”
as Hampton University is commonly called, I was immediately overwhelmed
by all of what I knew this new experience would have to offer.
As
the days went by, I would replay the conversations that I had during the
trip with my parents. The
lecture on budgeting was the first to make an impact.
My parents left me with money and instructions to stretch that
money as far as possible. After buying my books and basic essentials,
going to parties, and eating out (since I did not care much for the food
in the cafeteria) I quickly realized that you can only stretch your
money so far. It was
then that I learned the importance of savings and sacrifice.
Budgeting
was the first of many acts of responsibility I quickly learned.
All of a sudden I was solely responsible for all my actions.
I couldn’t rely on anyone else to make sure I woke up on time,
ate properly, managed my time well, maintained my spirituality and in
general did what I was supposed to do.
Sure, my parents called, but they were miles away. They
couldn’t just stop by to make sure that I was doing what was expected
of me. I was in position to
either “fly or die.” I
chose to fly. As a result,
I gained a sense of self-reliance that a series of lectures could never
produce. After all, isn’t
it better to learn first-hand?
There
was more to it than just gaining a sense of responsibility.
In addition, I gained friends for life.
The bond formed between people in this situation should not be
underestimated. As we
matured together, we learned to depend on one another for things that we
were accustomed to depending on family for.
Now that my biological family was miles away, when I needed a
shoulder to cry on, my friends provided it; when I had good news, my
friends listened; and when we had problems, we solved them together.
As a result of that experience, we are now more than friends.
We are family.
I
can’t speak for everyone, but my college experience was greatly
enhanced by leaving home. The words of my parents became more than a “lecture,”
they were tested in the “lab” – real life.
The only way to truly learn responsibility is to be put in a
situation that causes you to act accordingly.
Dimika
Cavalier is a graduate of Hampton University currently working on her
masters in Forensic Science at National University in San Diego
California.
