Conflict is an inevitable aspect of life. If the process of conflict resolution is viewed as an opportunity for growth and change in a work environment, the potential for a positive outcome is great. On an individual level, the ability to solve problems or manage change plays an important role in one's success. In the same way, the overall ability of a company to solve problems through collaborative efforts, has a strong impact on the organization's bottom line and overall success.

When conflict is unresolved, it takes on a life of its own and eventually produces damage that could have been prevented. As an example, consider the NBA lock out last basketball season. The players may never have anticipated such a dispute and in that way failed to identify a problem. Because of whatever communication breakdown there was, defining the problem became impossible because it self-destructed. On the surface, the problem was about money but obviously there was more to the story and more than enough money to go around. The problem was not managed effectively, so the opportunity to decide to work together was lost. Everyone ended up losing out as a result, even the fans. A more extreme and unpleasant form of unresolved conflict is war.

As a college student preparing to graduate, you can attest to the fact that the life of an African-American student is challenging, rewarding, fun, and full of obstacles to overcome. As you prepare to enter the work world, be armed not only with the many academic accomplishments and credentials you have painstakingly earned. Take with you the additional skills you have developed from solving problems and resolving conflicts that you've encountered along the way. Whether it was facing discriminatory attitudes, figuring out how to balance the work with the study of a work-study job or transforming the four walls of your dorm room into a home away from home, you have undoubtedly exercised creative problem-solving and conflict management skills.

When you began your academic career, you began by planning. Just as living up to the requirements of your chosen major has required a detailed plan of accomplishment, your career planning will require a carefully thought out series of steps to get you where you want to be. During the course of carrying out your career plans and in the day-to-day routine of working, you will encounter difficulties and obstacles that you can begin preparing for now.

Richard Duran, senior director of Human Resources for Ben & Jerry's Homemade, Inc. had this to say regarding the topic of conflict resolution; " I have come to expect it {conflict} as a part of my everyday routine in dealing with business issues. If we walk away from conflict and don't understand it, we are doomed to repeat and recreate the conflict. Not working through problems just slows down the process of understanding. Avoiding conflict creates tension and frustration. On the other hand, if I work through the conflict, I can both understand the other person's point of view and express my perspective. The process then begins to build trust and understanding. I would not be successful, nor a survivor, if I did not deal with conflict openly. It would eat me up inside or cause me political problems within the organization."

What Does a Company Stand For?

Being familiar with your current or prospective employer's grievance policies, statements of commitment to diversity, and equal opportunity practices is very important. Most companies have policies that provide guidelines for conflicts. Unfortunately, many of these policies were created from a reactionary perspective, not a preventative one. They have been designed to address problems and conflicts at the point that a problem requires intervention for damage control. Forward-thinking companies strive to create an atmosphere with built-in opportunities to voice concerns and participate in the process of change on a continual basis.

A wise person once said, "you learn more from listening than speaking," It seems rather obvious but it's amazing how many people don't know how to listen effectively. Because communication skills are essential in conflict resolution, taking it upon yourself to improve these skills should rank high on your list of things to do upon entering into today's workplace. The fine art of listening is a great starting point for increasing your communication skills. Aside from understanding whatever information is being presented, an important second outcome of effective listening is that the person speaking feels heard. When someone feels heard, positive rapport begins to develop. When it comes time for this person to listen to you, you will have a willing listener.

Important Do's and Don'ts for Active Listening

• Do maintain appropriate eye contact.
• Don't look down.
• Do paraphrase at the appropriate time (for example…Is what you're saying?…).
• Don't interrupt.
• Do be aware of your own body language and your tone of voice.
• Don't assume.
• Do listen.
• Don't mismatch your style.

A slightly more involved aspect of active listening is developing the skill of recognizing personality types and styles of communication. Many communication consultants and trainers have over the years used charts that categorize people into groups of personality types. While I have always found these personality type charts to be too complicated, there is a lot of value in being familiar with the information. The art of "speaking someone's language" and adjusting your style appropriately to fit or blend with someone else's style (sometimes referred to as 'matching') is a good strategy for producing a positive outcome of any interaction.

Communication is the key to managing conflict, solving problems, and producing your desired outcome of any interaction. Here are some suggestions that can be useful in a variety of situations such as interviews, sales meetings, and communicating in difficult situations. Start with any basic question such as, "Do you have a pen I can use?" Asking for help puts people at ease and most people like to feel helpful. Initially, let the other person do the talking by asking relevant questions and listen. Through your eye contact, responses, and body language, let the person know that you are listening. Avoid chit-chat and refocus the conversation with a question if the person strays from the topic at hand. Make a mental note of the person's communication style. Does he or she speak fast or slow, quiet or loud? What is her tone? Is she upset, excited, unenthusiastic, or upbeat? After making a quick assessment of these few details, adjust your style appropriately. If you tend to be more relaxed in your style of communication and this person has a quicker pace, pick up your pace a bit. Make a note of whether the person is asking you or telling you something. A person, who asks in general more than he/she tells, likes to be asked rather than told.

During the course of your conversation with someone you are negotiating and/or working with, pick something out about the person you notice such as, "What seems to be important to this person? Is it attention to detail, compliance, or productivity, for example?

At the point in the conversation where the person begins asking you the questions, he/she is prepared to listen. Whatever you have to present at this point will most likely be received favorably. A request, constructive criticism, sales pitch, or identification of a problem now is best because you have engaged the person, assessed his/her style, and gotten the person's interest in what you have to say or offer.

If you are attempting to resolve a conflict, the process can be simple or complex. It can take no more than a single meeting of the minds while other conflicts may take an ongoing process and in some cases the use of outside mediators. The importance of creativity in resolving problems cannot be emphasized enough. Having spent a number of years assisting people with disabilities in employment, creativity has been a necessity. Sometimes being creative means taking a look at a problem from a different perspective. Taking a creative approach to conflict management often results in simplifying the problem so that the solution becomes obvious. Whatever approach is taken, if it is well thought out, it will at least begin to move the situation toward resolution.

Use Documentation as a Tool Whenever you find yourself in a conflict on the job, documentation is important for many reasons. If solutions are tried and don't work, documentation of the process that led up to that point can serve as a tool for going back to " square one." Concerning issues of harassment, discrimination or otherwise unfair labor practices, documentation can make or break a case should it turn into a legal matter. Documenting the process of conflict resolution when it has worked well can produce a format that can be used again.

Moving On Always be prepared to compromise and/or move on. Everyone involved in the process of change should be prepared for the possibility that things won't go their way. Moving on may be difficult, but it is completely necessary. The world of work is moving and changing at an incredible rate and none of us can afford to get stuck in the yesterday's problems. Conflict is a very natural part of our lives. If we expect positive outcomes of change, we'll create and find them ourselves. If we don't, well you know the saying, "stuff happens." Choices about how we learn and grow from changes on the job or in any aspect of life are ours to make. The question is, " Do we want to let things happen, or make them happen?"