Campus Advisor

Dear Campus Advisor,

I am a business major with a minor in computer science.  I am proud to have made it to my senior year and am one of the few Black male students in my classes.  I have been on the Dean’s List several times and have a 3.2 GPA.  I have had two different internships that have allowed me to know more about different organizations.  I have been courted by a number of employers that I frankly have no interest in.  I have already had two interviews and one offer.  There are two more companies that I am scheduled to interview with and that I am very interested in.  I have recently received feedback that says that I am coming across as too arrogant. How can I be coming across as too arrogant?  I am just confident about my accomplishments.  I am an excellent candidate and I have done very well in my interviews.  I have one offer already in hand!  I get tough questions in the interview and I ask tough questions back.  I feel that I deserve a position that pays well and that has a definite career path for my advancement. I know that I am an exceptional candidate and I don’t feel that it is necessary to play down my accomplishments.  My question is, do you have to fake humility? 

Troy D

Michigan

Dear Troy:

Your outlook represents a major concern being faced by career centers. One of the big issues raised by employers at a conference I attended recently was the sense of entitlement that many students of your generation seem to have. Some of the employers at the conference considered it to be a major flaw among the millennial generation. 

Having said this, I do want to try to avoid over-generalizing.  Based on what you have shared with me, you have done a number of things well.  You have been a good student.  You have gotten relevant experience and you have been humble enough to go to the career center for some practice interviews.  Since I do not know you personally and have not been able to hear you in the interviews, it is my responsibility to have you think about your accomplishments and your expectations in a broader context.

While you may be an exception in your class and college, the reality is that you are not an exception for employers who are recruiting the best and brightest diverse college students from across the country.  You are not just competing for these opportunities with peers at your university.  It should be humbling for you to realize that there are many highly talented students of color out there, who have achieved even higher grade-point averages, who have had similar successful internships and who have already been offered full-time employment.

You do not mention whether you had two consecutive internships with the same organization or two different organizations.  If they were with different organizations, were you invited back to either one? Employers frequently suggest that recurring internships in the same organization provide a more in-depth learning experience than going from one company to another.  Additionally, employers do not offer a second year internship if the student failed to perform satisfactorily or comes across as too entitled or self-absorbed.  If you were not invited back, this could be a clue as to how you were being perceived.  I suggest that you do some serious reflection on just how successful you were.

I am pleased that you have taken the time to do practice interviews through your career center.  Since you have now had more than one practice interview, I think the message is clear.  These experienced interviewers are interpreting your behavior as too arrogant.  Please do not mistake arrogance for confidence.  Your achievements are worthy.  You have a right to pat yourself on the back.  But you have a greater responsibility to listen to the feedback you’re getting and be humble enough to understand that you still have much to learn.  False confidence will certainly thwart your future success.

Remember, employers hire substance over style. When confronted with challenging feedback, we have tendency to be initially defensive.  If you are as good as you think you are, then drop your defensive mechanisms and reflect upon the valuable feedback that you’re receiving.  What do you lose by adjusting your style to win the opportunity you’ve worked so hard to gain?  With more important interviews to go, the sooner you heed the advice you’ve already received, the better your chances to score even higher, in subsequent interviews. And if you do, you still will not be “all that,” but you will achieve your goals!